may, a travelogue. part un.

i finally went on vacation.  i had a long weekend back in february, but may was designated as the month of travel.  check out the map to the right, my entire month's worth of driving.
it was strange traveling for pleasure instead of business.  i did a lot of this on my own, but it wasn't the same as when i travel by myself for business.  i missed thomas a lot.  probably because the two trips he wasn't with me just happened to be weddings, and i was the one full of love and happiness and no one to share it with.  bummer.  still, i travel alone all the time, but somehow, this was different.
the good news is, amidst the mileage, a whopping four thousand plus, i had some great times.

first stop? baltimore before hitting the road to my southern west virginia hometown to meet up with my brother.  the boss invited my group of hooligans to his house for cooking out and conversation.  my personal favorites?  taking a few jumps on the trampoline with "the other guy", who at thirty had never been on one before, and ringing in a new decade with my "twin" on his birthday.  we had fun until the sun began to set and we all went our separate ways.  the only thing in my future happened to be a five and a half hour drive back home.

i arrived at my parents house at 2am.  we were on the road at 8am, headed in the direction of alabama for my uncle's wedding.  he married a wonderful woman, amy, who we're all very excited to "officially" welcome her into the family.  i for one was thrilled to be privy to her amazing margarita recipe, which she made for us at her home where we met the rest of the family (i.e., murphy and milo, the biggest animals i've seen in my lifetime).  the entire family gathered at the rehearsal dinner at a mexican cantina where my dad got an amazing groomsman gift.  check out the mug with the family coat of arms on it!  i'm jealous.

pre-wedding we had a family outing to the rocket museum.  the rockets were pretty cool, but i got my kicks from the scale model of the solar system.  i'm sorry, but uranus jokes never get old, no matter how old i get.

miss baker the space monkey's memorial was pretty entertaining too, with bananas placed around the gravesite.

finally, it was the wedding at the botanical gardens in huntsville, which was a beautiful setting for the wedding. i wish i had arrived early to check out the flowers, i'm sure they were incredible.  the weather had been iffy all day but it managed to hold out for the entire ceremony and reception!  i love the color of the bridesmaid dresses; very fitting for the rest of the scenery at the garden.

i got lots of great pictures at the reception, but will only post this one because it makes me laugh every time i look at it.  naturally, beyonce's 'single ladies' came on when it was time to toss the bouquet.  hanging out inside with the other married people, i got to catch this hilarious picture.  that's my cousin who's my age dancing with my great uncle jack.  it was a hysterical combination of her dance and a mexican hat dance, lots of shaking and turning and waving that hand around.  my family is awesome.


daniel and i made the journey back to wv in eight hours.  it was a long drive, but totally worth it.  seems like i never see the beckner clan unless something great happens, or something tragic happens.  i'm thankful it was the former this time around.

next time:  may, a travelogue, part deux. the new orleans chapter.

the resolution.

"there's a lot that i don't know, there's a lot that i'm still learning...i need light in the dark as i search for the resolution."

2010.  i described it, as the chinese do, as the year of the <insert something here>.  my 2010 was "the year of the airplane".  silver status on two airlines, platinum status on my hotel brand of choice, and got to see some of the country i hadn't been to before, philadelphia being my favorite.  it was a wild ride, but i'm looking forward to extending the year of the airplane into 2011.

the best of the year?  travel.  feeling like i finally was on the right track as to what i wanted to be when i grow up.  appreciation at work.  a stronger marriage in some ways, though weaker in others (that part isn't the best).  i became more aware of the time i had at home and how to appreciate what little time i had with family, friends, and especially my little familial unit in charleston. the milestone of owning a house for a year, and seeing all the work we've done on it come together.  racking up enough loyalty points to travel for leisure and not have to pay for anything.

the worst?  over 50,000 miles in the air.  almost 200 nights spent in hotels and not my own house.  not being able to play the guitar.  realizing what i want and what i can't have are the same.

despite the lack of time in charleston, i really think this year was exactly what i needed.  i was feeling trapped in this city and my job was able to make the best of both worlds.  i would go somewhere else until i was sick of it, and then i got to go home!  perfection.  i got to work with a lot of like-minded people and made friends out of several coworkers; i am more than thankful for my "work family", without them i would've been a miserable, unsuccessful creature, and i look forward to many more adventures.

looking forward, its that time of year that we make resolutions.  i have only two:  listen to a bunch of new music.  and act my age.  i am still a kid by the numbers, but i've been a part of the adult world for five years now.  i resolve to have a lot more fun, take more risks, and try new things.

keep reading in 2011 to see how i do.  happy new year.

pie.

this weekend i went to visit my family (that will be another series of posts altogether) out in missouri.  my mom's entire side of the family lives out there, her sisters and their families, my gaga, everyone.  they didn't know i was coming and it was so cool to surprise them with a visit!  i hadn't been out there in a year and a half, and it was time to visit for a happy reason.

my gaga is such a good cook.  she's the queen of comfort food.  i could always count on there being some sort of sweet treat at her house; i love her gingersnaps, snickerdoodles, pies, just thinking about it makes me hungry.  she can do some good beef brisket too, but i guess that will be a lesson for another day.  i made a post about firsts, my first pie.  i wasn't exactly a miserable failure, but i certainly wasn't pleased with the results, so i asked gaga to give me a lesson in cherry pie.

she taught me first how to thicken the cherries to make my own pie filling, adding what i decided was the secret ingredient to it to make it absolutely perfect.  i had made a shortening crust before, and she taught me how to make an oil crust, so much easier to work with, and how to roll it out so it doesn't give you fits.  she showed me how to make designs in the crust that are not only functional but add a little flair to an otherwise typical pie, how to pinch the crust so it looks good and the filling won't ooze out.  all in all, it was piemaking 101.


do you  know that was one of the best pies i've ever had?  my uncle said it tasted just like a gaga pie, which was good.  it was his birthday pie and he loved it.  i was so proud.  he even called my dad to tell him how great it was.  making that pie was one of the best parts of the trip because not only did i learn something, it was so neat to bond with my gaga and learn her tricks.  one of my favorite things about families are the traditions and skills we pass down, and i'm very thankful i learned the secrets.

i can't wait to make another one.  the way it went over i have a feeling it won't be long before i do.

nana.

a year and a half ago, my nana passed away.

the weekend of july 18th, i had planned on going out to missouri to visit her, riding with my dad out there so we could save on gas and make the twelve-hour drive a little easier, but things just didn't quite work out.  instead, i loaded up my husband and my brother and we made the trip a week early.  if i hadn't made that trip i would have missed her.

 i stayed with my aunt in the city where she was in the hospital.  we went to visit her that saturday, and then sunday before we took off for home again. she looked so frail, not that she was a big woman to begin with, but so, small.  fragile.  she was quite talkative, though, and in a great mood, telling us about the nurses, and how she got ice cream every day.  she called me by my cousin's name the whole time.  then, it bothered me because i felt like she didn't know who i was, but looking back on it now, i laugh, remembering how she always did that, to me, to my dad, my brother.  we stayed until i just couldn't hold back the tears or stand the smell of hospitals, the stench of urine and antiseptic and sadness.  i went back inside to give her one last hug and to tell  her i loved her.

i was in my hometown the night i got the call.  dad was on the other end of the line while i sat in a gas station parking lot, sobbing, heaving, wondering how he was able to speak so clearly when i could barely breathe.  sarah found me like that when she got back in the car and somehow we got to the house.  i walked in and all i could say to thomas was "she's dead."

three days later i was back in missouri.  it was the strangest time i've had to date.  there were the funeral arrangements, figuring out what to do with all of the stuff you accumulate in 89 years, emotions running high and low.  it didn't really click until we made it to the funeral home, and then it sunk in.  so many thoughts in my head:  she's gone.  i really won't ever see her again.  at least they did her hair and makeup well enough, she'd hate to look bad the last time we all see her.

when it was all said and done we went back to the house with the whole family.  i wish i could say that it was a time of sadness but i think we were all so uplifted from the funeral that we were ok.  it was a time of storytelling, learning what a badass my nana was, laughing at geico commercial references and being in awe of her war stories.  we got trashed throwing lawn darts at beer cans in the backyard.  it was a true alabama/west virginia good time with the cousins.  all in all i think it was all exactly how she would've wanted it to be.  even after she was gone, the house was filled with love and laughter and plenty of red wine.

her house finally sold, so my parents brought me some things from her house to then fill my house with reminders of her.  the shinto artwork guarding my front door, happy god of wealth to grant my wishes.

i didn't cry until i pulled a japanese figurine from a box.  i shook off all the packing peanuts and the scent of her perfume wafted into my living room.  i can still smell it.  its one thing i always associate with her.

i'm going to wear her hat again this weekend; another treasure from nana's house.  i felt so classy in it.  i love my nana so much, and while i know i'll never be as tough as her, as classy as her, as strong-willed as her, i can feel it for a little while when i'm "making a statement" in a bold feathered fedora.  i know she'd be proud.