right on target.

it's been a while.  life has been placed on fast forward and i don't like it.  i hadn't realized it had been an entire month since i had posted anything, and to be perfectly honest, there weren't a lot of things going on in my life that were worth sharing.  life was busy yet boring.  and then i had a near life experience.

thomas got this bug where he wanted a gun for his birthday.  i frowned and fussed and did my best to discourage, but it was his birthday money and he could do whatever he wanted with it.  so he got one.  and then came the steady stream of "let's go to the range! i want to try it out!"

i have no idea how he talked me into it, but he did.  we packed up thomas' new toy and "my gun", my grandfather's old .22 that was given to us when my grandmother passed away.  i had never even looked at the thing, let alone touch it.  i was scared to death of it.  i was fairly frightened of bb guns, for pete's sake.  how the heck was i supposed to use this thing?

it was pouring that day, but we weren't going to let that stop us.  he was on a mission and i was merely along for the ride, happy to see him so excited, but my stomach was churning with nerves.  we got to the range and i jumped every time a pistol fired.  a few deep breaths and lots of coaching later, thomas hands me granddaddy's rifle and says, "ok, now you try it."

i handled it like a one-of-a-kind glass trinket, terrified if i moved the wrong way something would happen to it.  pulling the bolt back, i slid in a single bullet, much smaller than i had imagined.  i locked it into place, settled into my horrible posture, and squeezed.  and with little more than a "whoosh" it was gone.  no kick, no loud "bang!" that i was anticipating, more like a breeze and a whistle.  "that's it?" i questioned in disbelief.  "well, yeah," he replies.  it was so much easier than i though.


about a 1/4 of a box later, i was having a ball.  it was a new challenge.  i was happy to be trying something different.  and yes, i still cringe at the sound of a handgun, but i'm not afraid anymore.  i feel like my grandfathers would be proud of me if they could see me with it.  while i'll never be able to take out more than some aluminum cans or maybe an overly ornery squirrel, it was still pretty cool.  i officially feel like a west by-god virginian.

slow sad songs in 'a'.

it's official:  i am in love.

my parents bought me a violin for christmas.  its something i had talked about for years, wanted for longer, and just never got the guts to try it, so they kind of forced me into trying something new.  except this time, unlike cooked carrots and sweet potatoes, i am glad they forced me to give it a shot.  i absolutely love it!

thinking it was going to be a lot like playing guitar, i jumped right into it.  i at least understand the basics of stringed instruments, but the bow is killing me.  its a lot different for me, not knowing exactly where to put my fingers, working with fewer strings and simpler chords, but i'm getting the hang of it.  i have to take a step back to songs with three or four chords, and leave my minors and diminished chords behind, get back to the simple songs, when g, c, and d were all you really needed.

it hasn't been easy, spending 30 minutes just getting the damn thing in tune some days, getting evicted from the living room because i was so bad, screeching and scratching away at it.  but tonight, a buddy of ours who plays mandolin came over and thomas jumped on guitar and i did my best to keep up.  and it wasn't horrible! four days of playing under my belt and i can fake my way through at a very novice level.  very, very novice level.

today's victory: slow sad songs in "a".

well, you gotta start somewhere.

the resolution.

"there's a lot that i don't know, there's a lot that i'm still learning...i need light in the dark as i search for the resolution."

2010.  i described it, as the chinese do, as the year of the <insert something here>.  my 2010 was "the year of the airplane".  silver status on two airlines, platinum status on my hotel brand of choice, and got to see some of the country i hadn't been to before, philadelphia being my favorite.  it was a wild ride, but i'm looking forward to extending the year of the airplane into 2011.

the best of the year?  travel.  feeling like i finally was on the right track as to what i wanted to be when i grow up.  appreciation at work.  a stronger marriage in some ways, though weaker in others (that part isn't the best).  i became more aware of the time i had at home and how to appreciate what little time i had with family, friends, and especially my little familial unit in charleston. the milestone of owning a house for a year, and seeing all the work we've done on it come together.  racking up enough loyalty points to travel for leisure and not have to pay for anything.

the worst?  over 50,000 miles in the air.  almost 200 nights spent in hotels and not my own house.  not being able to play the guitar.  realizing what i want and what i can't have are the same.

despite the lack of time in charleston, i really think this year was exactly what i needed.  i was feeling trapped in this city and my job was able to make the best of both worlds.  i would go somewhere else until i was sick of it, and then i got to go home!  perfection.  i got to work with a lot of like-minded people and made friends out of several coworkers; i am more than thankful for my "work family", without them i would've been a miserable, unsuccessful creature, and i look forward to many more adventures.

looking forward, its that time of year that we make resolutions.  i have only two:  listen to a bunch of new music.  and act my age.  i am still a kid by the numbers, but i've been a part of the adult world for five years now.  i resolve to have a lot more fun, take more risks, and try new things.

keep reading in 2011 to see how i do.  happy new year.

(not so) tiny dancer.

sometimes i continue to amaze myself and i love that feeling.  i think so often we feel like if we didn't learn how to do something as a child, we'll never really learn.  things like foreign languages (and the ability to speak them fluently), sports, a new skill, a musical instrument, but then you give it a try and realize, "hey, maybe i can do this!"

when i was a kid i was expected to be involved in all kinds of activities, but i was kind of limited to what those activities should be.  i suffered through piano lessons for two years before finally putting my foot down.  i played soccer off and on for years.  i was never the girl who could take dance lessons.  dance was too expensive (true), and while no one ever said it, i saw the girls that took dance (i was not built to be a dancer).

last night i went to a dance class.  my first dance class.  at twenty-four years old.  and while dance is expensive and i still don't possess the physique, i did it anyway.  and i'll be back next week for another round of "adult hip-hop" to perfect the routine to kc and the sunshine band.