a fuzzy memory.

i cant remember what your feet would look like in the sand.
i wish you were here.

dreaming with a broken heart.

it's lonely in this hotel room and id rather be anywhere but here.

"barbecue lifts my spirits, i swear it never fails"...

i am very fortunate that i have a position that takes care of me while i'm out gallivanting across the nation, or it's capital to be precise.  it was a big day at work yesterday and we had a celebration afterwards in the form of a rooftop barbecue.

now, let me describe this place for you.  arlington.  tallest building in crystal city.  there's nothing like getting on to the elevator and skipping all the numbers to go straight for the letter "p".  your spirits get lifted as soon as you press it; you feel like a big shot.  step out of the elevator to the penthouse floor, up the half-flight of stairs and out on to the roof.  you're greeted with a warm breeze, a sky without a single cloud, and an expansive view of washington dc, with the washington monument, jefferson memorial, and capitol building in plain view.  the sun is glittering off the potomac, and you have a cold one in your hand.  stretch out on the lounge chair with my frosty cold budweiser? don't mind if i do.

we cooked an assortment of grilled meats: burgers, sausages, and dogs; corn on the grill, an art that i've never perfected.  it was absolutely delicious, a feast for twenty for ten.  the food, the company, and the atmosphere was stunning.  we laughed for hours until we fell into a deliciousness coma. the sun went down and it was just as beautiful as it was when we arrived.  it could've been the beer goggles, but i swear it was so picturesque.

right on target.

it's been a while.  life has been placed on fast forward and i don't like it.  i hadn't realized it had been an entire month since i had posted anything, and to be perfectly honest, there weren't a lot of things going on in my life that were worth sharing.  life was busy yet boring.  and then i had a near life experience.

thomas got this bug where he wanted a gun for his birthday.  i frowned and fussed and did my best to discourage, but it was his birthday money and he could do whatever he wanted with it.  so he got one.  and then came the steady stream of "let's go to the range! i want to try it out!"

i have no idea how he talked me into it, but he did.  we packed up thomas' new toy and "my gun", my grandfather's old .22 that was given to us when my grandmother passed away.  i had never even looked at the thing, let alone touch it.  i was scared to death of it.  i was fairly frightened of bb guns, for pete's sake.  how the heck was i supposed to use this thing?

it was pouring that day, but we weren't going to let that stop us.  he was on a mission and i was merely along for the ride, happy to see him so excited, but my stomach was churning with nerves.  we got to the range and i jumped every time a pistol fired.  a few deep breaths and lots of coaching later, thomas hands me granddaddy's rifle and says, "ok, now you try it."

i handled it like a one-of-a-kind glass trinket, terrified if i moved the wrong way something would happen to it.  pulling the bolt back, i slid in a single bullet, much smaller than i had imagined.  i locked it into place, settled into my horrible posture, and squeezed.  and with little more than a "whoosh" it was gone.  no kick, no loud "bang!" that i was anticipating, more like a breeze and a whistle.  "that's it?" i questioned in disbelief.  "well, yeah," he replies.  it was so much easier than i though.


about a 1/4 of a box later, i was having a ball.  it was a new challenge.  i was happy to be trying something different.  and yes, i still cringe at the sound of a handgun, but i'm not afraid anymore.  i feel like my grandfathers would be proud of me if they could see me with it.  while i'll never be able to take out more than some aluminum cans or maybe an overly ornery squirrel, it was still pretty cool.  i officially feel like a west by-god virginian.