back to reality.

i started this blog four months ago when i came home after a long 8 months of being on the road.  plans were finalized this week.  i return to the skies mid-month.  i'm still not sure how i feel about this.

i started writing because sometimes i think i took for granted the minutiae of everyday life.  routine.  comfort.  i think i like the boring parts of life more than the exciting parts just because i feel more at home.  i needed an outlet to make sure i started thinking about life as more than just vacations and holidays and huge change-your-life moments. thus, the blog came to life.

i'm really glad i like my job as much as i do, because that makes everything easier.  i chose this position this time around and i'm very thankful to be given the opportunity to keep doing something i'm really good at, but i've gotten so settled back into my minutiae that i don't know how i will trade normalcy for constant change.

i preach change, i teach change.

i can't handle change.

i'm not thrilled about trading 7:30 alarm clocks for 4:00 alarm clocks (that 5:30 to charlotte's a bitch), my 5 minute car ride to work for two and a half hours in the sky.  my bunn coffeemaker and bubba keg for starbucks from concourse d in charlotte. (it's always less crowded than the one near the concourse c security checkpoint.  yes, these are things i have to take into account on a weekly basis.)  but i am excited about trading apathy and disinterest for excitement and appreciation, maid service and waffle wednesdays. being surrounded by like minded people that share my work ethic and strive for improvement.

i will miss being able to run on wednesdays and fridays.  i will miss coffee with the girls.  i will miss waking up in my own bed 7 days a week.  i will miss my poor attempts at home cooked meals, feeding the cats every morning, and the cries of "medic!!" as thomas plays team fortress.  i will miss inevitably falling asleep on the couch.

but it's a stepping stone to something better, i'm certain.

right?

crew.

saturday marked an interesting milestone in my life.

i was sitting at our old table at macado's in beckley, where it all started.  it wasn't quarter wing night (some things never change) or karaoke with steve, but it was at its core what it always had been:  my friends from high school, gathered round the table and catching up.  megan looked at us and said, "you know it's been ten years, right?" and though i hadn't realized, it had been.  i looked at the people at the table, minus dane who couldn't make it, and realized that i had called these people some of my best friends for ten years.  it was an amazing moment.

dane is always good for a laugh, even when most of the time its at his expense.  and though he doesn't know it, i envy him sometimes for never letting anyone discourage him from following his dream and doing exactly what makes him happy. it's admirable.

kara was my musical soulmate.  she brought out my creativity and gave me an outlet to use my talent.  we had so many good times at her house, sitting on her carport, strumming the days away.  her house was probably my second home for the better part of a decade.

megan is one of the best conversationalists i know.  she's insightful, empathetic, and always knows the right thing to say that i need to hear, even if its not what i really want to hear.  super creative, her drawings, paintings, and songs were always incredible.

alisha has been my friend for more than ten years.  she's been my concert buddy and always a source for great music.  she's smart, quick-witted, and hilariously sarcastic at times. she didn't even get mad when we got lost in florence together. dave matthews, barenaked ladies, john mayer, guster (times two!) and more to come, i hope!

i  have very few memories of life in the midwest.  i was only five when we moved to west virginia, so most of my life before then is awfully fuzzy.  i can honestly say i can hardly remember a time when bryan was not in my life.  he's been there for me through literally everything.  he's met all of my family.  he's talked me through relationships, deaths, fights, tough decisions, and he's been beside me for many of the happiest times in my life.  i literally don't know what i would do without him.

it's rare that i find someone so much like me, but brian hits the nail on the head.  i love that we can laze around the house, drinking coffee, and talking about "elderly things" like 401k plans and careers and still have a ton of fun.  definitely my favorite shopping partner because of his brutal honesty (and his patience) and travel partner extraordinaire.

we've moved apart and grown apart, but i love that after we got all the formalities out of the way, like work and significant others and families, we could pick right back up where we started.  i am so thankful to have people in my life that have been with me for so long.

"there are places i'll remember all my life, though some have changed; some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain; all these places have their moments, with lovers and friends i still can recall....i know i'll often stop and think about them...in my life i've loved them all"

cinematic moments.

every once in a while i joke about how many moments in my life are like a sitcom, its just that no one is watching.   i had a moment that although it wasn't sitcom-like, it was rather cinematic to me. a moment where you stop to really take in everything thats going on around you.

i stepped out of the bar in my stilettos, the tips buried in freshly-fallen snow that didn't seem to stop coming down, bringing snow over my feet; it had been perfectly clear when we had arrived.  i shrieked as my prized feathered fedora was already covered, and i hadn't been standing outside for a minute.  we had walked to the bar to avoid driving, but i was fortunate enough to catch a ride back to my house, mere blocks away.  there was no way my shoes would make it in the weather; poor planning on my part i suppose.

we met the others at the house, and as i walked toward the sidewalk where my car was parked, i noticed something rocketing towards me.  quickly turning to the side, i heard the low thud on the back of my coat as the snowball crumbled apart, soaking my back, making me laugh.  at that point it was on.

the snow was perfectly powdered, packing together so tight, like God himself customized the snowball blend for our pleasure.  i ran my hand across the top of my car and started creating my arsenal, all the while dodging snowballs flying from four other directions.

i didn't care that it was after midnight and i'd probably had too much to drink.  i didn't care that my neighbors probably wondered what the hell was going on outside.  i stood still, laughing at the whole thing, watching as they threw snowballs at each other, at my house, doing their best to throw it hard enough that it would stick to the brick facade.  the snow was falling faster every minute, to the point that we would've had feet instead of inches had it kept up.  it looked so beautiful in the light of the lamp post in my front yard.  my feet were turning red from the cold, but somehow it didn't really matter.

sometimes you just have to stop and let yourself drink in the moment.  this is what life looks like.

slow sad songs in 'a'.

it's official:  i am in love.

my parents bought me a violin for christmas.  its something i had talked about for years, wanted for longer, and just never got the guts to try it, so they kind of forced me into trying something new.  except this time, unlike cooked carrots and sweet potatoes, i am glad they forced me to give it a shot.  i absolutely love it!

thinking it was going to be a lot like playing guitar, i jumped right into it.  i at least understand the basics of stringed instruments, but the bow is killing me.  its a lot different for me, not knowing exactly where to put my fingers, working with fewer strings and simpler chords, but i'm getting the hang of it.  i have to take a step back to songs with three or four chords, and leave my minors and diminished chords behind, get back to the simple songs, when g, c, and d were all you really needed.

it hasn't been easy, spending 30 minutes just getting the damn thing in tune some days, getting evicted from the living room because i was so bad, screeching and scratching away at it.  but tonight, a buddy of ours who plays mandolin came over and thomas jumped on guitar and i did my best to keep up.  and it wasn't horrible! four days of playing under my belt and i can fake my way through at a very novice level.  very, very novice level.

today's victory: slow sad songs in "a".

well, you gotta start somewhere.