changes.

i hadn't posted anything here in a long time. months of angst that i didn't want to put out onto the internet kept me from doing so, and also that i honestly didn't think anyone read this. this afternoon my brother mentioned something about my blog and i realized just how long it had been. so here we are. this is what life looks like, folks.

i am getting divorced. i am living with my parents back home. i am trying my hardest to figure out myself, my dreams, my life and get back to doing things that make me happy. i am confident that this is all for the best. a month into all this, i am unbelievably thankful that i can say all of that. this whole process has made me so thankful for what i have, and has also made me realize the things i need in my life. my family is the best support system in the world, carrying me every step of the way and dusting me off the days that i stumble, and trust me, there have been more than enough of those.

so let it be written. i am back. life looks much different than it used to. let's start looking at things with a new set of eyes.

i leave you with one final depressing photograph. this was taken the first night i wasn't allowed to sleep in my home. it was a reminder of how things were going to look from that point on: unfamiliar, things that used to be there no longer, new favorites, and one that has always been there. kind of comforting and unbelievably saddening at the same time. but that's just the way things are now. one day at a time.

maple bacon cupcakes.

i had talked about it for weeks but never got around to doing it.  motivation came when a body shop i work with actually called to ask me when i was bringing them cupcakes again because they loved the last ones (the guinness cupcakes with bailey's icing, filled with chocolate ganache) so much.  i asked if they wouldn't mind being guinea pigs, and they gladly accepted the job.

ladies and gents, i present, the maple bacon cupcake.

will make 24 cupcakes.

prepare your favorite spice cake mix according to the directions.

for the icing, the only real work in all of this, you will need:

at least 6 slices of your favorite bacon for garnish, and a few slices to eat for yourself;
2 cups confectioner's sugar;
8 ounces of cream cheese, softened;
a stick of butter, softened;
pure maple syrup, at least 6 tablespoons

fry up your bacon, making sure it's extra crispy.  this way it will crumble better.  keep your bacon fat in the pan.

blend the sugar, cream cheese, and butter until creamed.  take the bacon fat that you've saved and dump it in the icing.  i swear it's the secret to the amazingness of this icing.  then start adding in the maple syrup by the tablespoon. blend slowly, keeping an eye on the consistency of the icing. i say begin with 6 because you want it to taste nice and maple-y, but you don't want it to get runny.  i know the rule "do it til it looks right" generally doesn't apply to baking, so in this case, do it til it tastes right.

i put my icing in a gallon ziploc bag (too big but i don't know that it would've fit in a quart size) and let it cool in the fridge for about an hour.  then i snipped off a corner and went to town on those cupcakes.

crumble the bacon that you fried up perfectly crispy and crumble into bits.  use it as a delicious garnish, tasty and decorative.  

reactions to the cupcake have been overwhelmingly good!  my favorites:

"oh my god, there's bacon. (pause followed by bewildered look) bacon?"

"that smells like the most amazing breakfast."

"it's like eating pancakes and bacon.  it's delicious!"

please comment and let me know what you think and how you could make this recipe even better!  i would love a homemade spice cake recipe if anyone has one.  there's just something missing when a recipe begins from a box. suggestions are welcome and encouraged.

enjoy friends.