changes.

i hadn't posted anything here in a long time. months of angst that i didn't want to put out onto the internet kept me from doing so, and also that i honestly didn't think anyone read this. this afternoon my brother mentioned something about my blog and i realized just how long it had been. so here we are. this is what life looks like, folks.

i am getting divorced. i am living with my parents back home. i am trying my hardest to figure out myself, my dreams, my life and get back to doing things that make me happy. i am confident that this is all for the best. a month into all this, i am unbelievably thankful that i can say all of that. this whole process has made me so thankful for what i have, and has also made me realize the things i need in my life. my family is the best support system in the world, carrying me every step of the way and dusting me off the days that i stumble, and trust me, there have been more than enough of those.

so let it be written. i am back. life looks much different than it used to. let's start looking at things with a new set of eyes.

i leave you with one final depressing photograph. this was taken the first night i wasn't allowed to sleep in my home. it was a reminder of how things were going to look from that point on: unfamiliar, things that used to be there no longer, new favorites, and one that has always been there. kind of comforting and unbelievably saddening at the same time. but that's just the way things are now. one day at a time.

maple bacon cupcakes.

i had talked about it for weeks but never got around to doing it.  motivation came when a body shop i work with actually called to ask me when i was bringing them cupcakes again because they loved the last ones (the guinness cupcakes with bailey's icing, filled with chocolate ganache) so much.  i asked if they wouldn't mind being guinea pigs, and they gladly accepted the job.

ladies and gents, i present, the maple bacon cupcake.

will make 24 cupcakes.

prepare your favorite spice cake mix according to the directions.

for the icing, the only real work in all of this, you will need:

at least 6 slices of your favorite bacon for garnish, and a few slices to eat for yourself;
2 cups confectioner's sugar;
8 ounces of cream cheese, softened;
a stick of butter, softened;
pure maple syrup, at least 6 tablespoons

fry up your bacon, making sure it's extra crispy.  this way it will crumble better.  keep your bacon fat in the pan.

blend the sugar, cream cheese, and butter until creamed.  take the bacon fat that you've saved and dump it in the icing.  i swear it's the secret to the amazingness of this icing.  then start adding in the maple syrup by the tablespoon. blend slowly, keeping an eye on the consistency of the icing. i say begin with 6 because you want it to taste nice and maple-y, but you don't want it to get runny.  i know the rule "do it til it looks right" generally doesn't apply to baking, so in this case, do it til it tastes right.

i put my icing in a gallon ziploc bag (too big but i don't know that it would've fit in a quart size) and let it cool in the fridge for about an hour.  then i snipped off a corner and went to town on those cupcakes.

crumble the bacon that you fried up perfectly crispy and crumble into bits.  use it as a delicious garnish, tasty and decorative.  

reactions to the cupcake have been overwhelmingly good!  my favorites:

"oh my god, there's bacon. (pause followed by bewildered look) bacon?"

"that smells like the most amazing breakfast."

"it's like eating pancakes and bacon.  it's delicious!"

please comment and let me know what you think and how you could make this recipe even better!  i would love a homemade spice cake recipe if anyone has one.  there's just something missing when a recipe begins from a box. suggestions are welcome and encouraged.

enjoy friends.

"and so castles made of sand..."

melt into the sea pretty quickly in the outer banks.  loved this shot though.
highly appropriate as i've been hearing a lot of jimi hendrix songs pop up unexpectedly lately.  strange.

may, a travelogue. part un.

i finally went on vacation.  i had a long weekend back in february, but may was designated as the month of travel.  check out the map to the right, my entire month's worth of driving.
it was strange traveling for pleasure instead of business.  i did a lot of this on my own, but it wasn't the same as when i travel by myself for business.  i missed thomas a lot.  probably because the two trips he wasn't with me just happened to be weddings, and i was the one full of love and happiness and no one to share it with.  bummer.  still, i travel alone all the time, but somehow, this was different.
the good news is, amidst the mileage, a whopping four thousand plus, i had some great times.

first stop? baltimore before hitting the road to my southern west virginia hometown to meet up with my brother.  the boss invited my group of hooligans to his house for cooking out and conversation.  my personal favorites?  taking a few jumps on the trampoline with "the other guy", who at thirty had never been on one before, and ringing in a new decade with my "twin" on his birthday.  we had fun until the sun began to set and we all went our separate ways.  the only thing in my future happened to be a five and a half hour drive back home.

i arrived at my parents house at 2am.  we were on the road at 8am, headed in the direction of alabama for my uncle's wedding.  he married a wonderful woman, amy, who we're all very excited to "officially" welcome her into the family.  i for one was thrilled to be privy to her amazing margarita recipe, which she made for us at her home where we met the rest of the family (i.e., murphy and milo, the biggest animals i've seen in my lifetime).  the entire family gathered at the rehearsal dinner at a mexican cantina where my dad got an amazing groomsman gift.  check out the mug with the family coat of arms on it!  i'm jealous.

pre-wedding we had a family outing to the rocket museum.  the rockets were pretty cool, but i got my kicks from the scale model of the solar system.  i'm sorry, but uranus jokes never get old, no matter how old i get.

miss baker the space monkey's memorial was pretty entertaining too, with bananas placed around the gravesite.

finally, it was the wedding at the botanical gardens in huntsville, which was a beautiful setting for the wedding. i wish i had arrived early to check out the flowers, i'm sure they were incredible.  the weather had been iffy all day but it managed to hold out for the entire ceremony and reception!  i love the color of the bridesmaid dresses; very fitting for the rest of the scenery at the garden.

i got lots of great pictures at the reception, but will only post this one because it makes me laugh every time i look at it.  naturally, beyonce's 'single ladies' came on when it was time to toss the bouquet.  hanging out inside with the other married people, i got to catch this hilarious picture.  that's my cousin who's my age dancing with my great uncle jack.  it was a hysterical combination of her dance and a mexican hat dance, lots of shaking and turning and waving that hand around.  my family is awesome.


daniel and i made the journey back to wv in eight hours.  it was a long drive, but totally worth it.  seems like i never see the beckner clan unless something great happens, or something tragic happens.  i'm thankful it was the former this time around.

next time:  may, a travelogue, part deux. the new orleans chapter.